Are you in a relationship with a narcissist and realize it’s time to get out, but have no idea what to do to get out? Read this blog and you’ll know exactly the steps that you need to take in order to actually exit that relationship with that narcissist for good.
You know that you’re dealing with a narcissist, you’re in this relationship with a narcissist, and you’re thinking how the heck do I get out of this relationship?
So when you’re dealing with a narcissist remember that you’re dealing with a personality type that has no inner sense of value. They have to derive all of their value from the external in the form of what we call narcissistic supply.
You’re going to see where you actually trigger that narcissistic rage is going to come out and things will probably get worse before they get better. But narcissists are always the worst right before they’re ready to give up, so never forget that!
So when you go to end this relationship you have to be extremely careful, extremely purposeful, and deliberate and have a plan of action when you go to end the relationship with a narcissist that will actually make sure that you do the things that you need to do to get where you need to go.
So, How to END that Relationship With a Narcissist
Don’t give them one more chance. Not verbally, not internally. They’ve had their chance, you’ve given them the options over and over and over again on how to correct their behavior. They can’t, they won’t, and don’t give them one more chance, just decide and move on.
When you decide to leave them, don’t tell them, don’t share it with them, just move on. You’re going to create your plan for getting out and you’re not going to share any of it with them. Don’t say I’m leaving you, I’m getting ready to leave you, nothing like that, just create the plan and then execute on it. They will do everything they can to make this a living hell for you, and they may even try to thwart your efforts to leave.
So they may try to foil your plans, they may try to love to bomb you, guilt you, play the victim, all of these different things. And if it’s already been a hard decision for you to come to, then you could get sucked back into that, so don’t tell them about your plan.
The other thing that they might try to do is intimidate you, devalue you, cause fear inside of you, if you leave this is what’s going to happen, or they may just decide that they’re going to discard you first, beat you to it, make it worse for you, something like that. So do not tell them that you are leaving.
If you are in an abusive situation report what has happened to you. Report it to your therapist, report it to your clergyman, report it to the police, whoever you need to, especially if it’s been physical abuse or sexual abuse or anything like that. You can always go to a domestic violence shelter as well, but don’t be silent about it.
After you end a relationship with a narcissist reconnect with family and friends. You are going to need a support system as you go through this. To reconnect with the people that mean the most to you, who love you, who will believe you, who will support you. And also seek out therapists, seek out somebody that you can talk to about those who’s a neutral third party. Maybe even a clergyman or somebody at your church or synagogue or something like that, so that you will have a support system in place as you go through this.
Stay away upon leaving. Once you have left stay away, don’t fall prey to going back even just to have a conversation or anything like that. Just stay firm in your decision and stay strong in your decision once you’ve made that decision.
It’s really important for you to understand the pathology of narcissism and the psychology of narcissism just enough to know what you need to do to negotiate with them and get out of this relationship with them in a way that leaves you as unscathed as possible, and helps you come to a fair resolution.
The next thing that you can do is go easy on yourself, go slowly, forgive yourself. You did what you did and you made the decisions that you made in the moment, and remember that these people are master manipulators, they’ve been manipulating their whole entire lives.
Don’t beat yourself up over the fact that you were in that relationship with a narcissist. It happened, you learned from it, you’re moving on now, and that’s the most important thing.